About


I will be 49 years old in February 2017. All my life, I always thought I was just too emotional, had anger issues, and was just destined to live a life of hell. I finally sought psychological help in 2011, trying to find help for my crazy, constant thoughts and other issues I was having.

I was misdiagnosed several times, and put on so many different medications that I lost count. Some would help for a while, but underneath the surface, I never felt “right”.

In 2013, after years of living in hell, the bottom fell out for me. My illness got out of control, and I began the life of living in and out of in-patient mental facilities. Of course, those were always a joke. They would put you on new medication, and after three days, home you would go. This cycle went on for many months.

I believe many of the medications made me worse. Psychological medications are to be taken very seriously, as they can cause severe symptoms, and alter your mind to the point you cannot function. At one point, before I was finally diagnosed correctly, my husband would not allow me to drive, in fear I would not remember how to get home. My mother had to come stay with me while my husband worked. I was a heavily medicated ball of mush.

I was committed to the State Mental Hospital by a Judge’s Order in January 2014. I was released after a 14 day stay, with an agreement that I would have out-patient therapy and follow all the the rules set forth. That lasted less than 30 days, at which time, I was sent back to fulfill my 90 day commitment as a ward of the State.

I was finally diagnosed correctly during this time. My medications were still not right for me, and it wasn’t until I was released and sought the help of my family doctor, that I was placed on medications that actually worked, the best that any medication can with this disorder.

I battle daily, still, even though I know I am on the best course of medications for me. I will leave this, and the rest of my story will come, in posts, as I feel comfortable telling the ugly truth of being me.

20 thoughts on “About”

  1. Hi. I just stumbled across your aite, luckily, from lithium chronicles. I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist who keep telling me I’m bipolar. I’ve never felt that was right. Reading your words…made sense to me. Felt like I was no longer alone. I’m so tired of all these medications and they make me worse. Currently I’m on 1500mg of gabapentin and 100mg of trazadone. Do you mind if I ask you what medicine finally worked for you? And how do I convince these Drs I’m not bipolar. There’s something mire they’re missing. Its exhausting

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    1. I am so glad you were able to identify. We are so often misdiagnosed, and it took several years for my correct diagnosis. I used to take both of those meds, along with a few more. I am currently taking Seroquel, Adderall, and Klonopin. It works for me, the best that any med can. Unfortunately, there are no meds for Borderline. Just treating symptoms. Bipolar is more ups and downs. I am either somewhat normal, or in a complete abyss. It will come out of nowhere. You might try printing out information on both disorders, and highlighting what you suffer from. Perhaps that will show them more. Borderline is a difficult diagnosis. I am fortunate to finally get it right. I do believe the most contributing factor would be self-harm. That can come in many forms, whether self-mutilation, abusing drugs and alcohol, or anything you do to punish yourself, or bring harm. I hope this helps. Please keep me updated.

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  2. Will add to what Katrina wrote above, including her tribute to your bravery. I came here to offer my thanks for your recent decision to follow Learning from Dogs. But then blown away by your openness, candour and honesty. Look, if you ever fancy writing a guest post for LfD then I’m sure many other readers would really appreciate that. Especially if there’s a dog in your article! 😊

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    1. Thank you so much. I would love to write about dogs. I currently own 6, and my daughter is temporarily here with 3. One of which is a medical foster from a rescue. He was beaten to near death with a baseball bat, and has healed rather well. He still has physical issues, but emotionally I am amazed at how he trusts so easily. Being in rescue, I am never short of a dog story! Let me know what you are looking for, and I will try to come up with something. I think it would be fun!

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      1. Having just read what you have written over on Learning from Dogs, I don’t need to tell you anything. Your writing is beautiful. Can’t wait to read your guest posts that I now, for certain, will be loved by the readers.

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  5. A brave and honest post, thank you for sharing your story. I hope that writing about it helps. Glad you’re on the right course of meds. I wish you all the very best on your journey.

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  7. You’ve been on a difficult road, to say the least. I agree completely that the medications intended to help us can at times cause enormous problems. I commend you for your courage. Thank you, by the way, for your follow. ❤

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